How to begin? That is the question. Maybe a few words on feelings of confusion, maybe an analogy of a bird without wings, or maybe some tender words on dreams and living. It's hard to explain the place that I find myself in. It can best be described by a mumblejumble of letters: lasdkfjslkajfskd. Tonight in a little coffee shop, with only two more weeks until a three-week Spring Break, I'm feeling the tension between my forever love of home and my new infatuation with Scotland. I'm feeling my left arm being pulled by the beautiful North Sea, the budding flowers, and the new and adventurous life I lead. And my right arm? I might as well have left the thing in Michigan.
Now I don't want it to sound as though I'm discounting my time here. (And that's the risk for writing about this.) That is not the case. I adore Scotland and my time here is precious and a blessing unlike any I have ever had. But my love for home? Always in the back of my mind, and on harder days, the very front. I don't think it's the comfy couch in my living room that I miss, or Orion's belt out my window in my bedroom, or Mom's homemade mac and cheese. Nope. I miss my people. And I think that's okay. Well, more than okay. I think that's a very special thing. And in the end, (here comes the cheesy line): lights will guide me home. Literally. Plane lights and men waving funny wands on the runway. But for now, there's a lot of light still to discover in Scotland, England, and Ireland too. And beautiful clouds too. There's just a whole lot of light everywhere and I have about three more months to bask in it all I can. How will I spend these three months, you ask?
For a bit of humour:
-two weeks until break (Freud presentation, philosophy paper)
-three-week Spring Break (Travelling Scotland for a week, then London and Salisbury!)
-four more weeks of classes (pretending to really 'kick it in'/writing essays that count for 50% or so of my grade.. whaa!?)
-one week with no class to prepare for exams (Ireland!?)
-three weeks with no class... and two exams. (Saying holy moly in the sunshine.)
AKA: 6 more weeks of class, 7 weeks of break.
My feelings about that equation: asdlkfjalskdfjlaksdfja. Brilliant.