Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

guru deva om
-The Beatles

The most frustrating part about life is not knowing.
The most magic
al part about life is not knowing.

A few nights ago I swam at midnight in t
he North Sea. With nothing but a mini flashlight positioned as a marker near my clothes, I ran into the cold salt water and jumped over waves in the pitch black hole of I-can't-see-squat! But around me, farther away, I saw it all. The city lights were lines of stars, and the stars were something even greater. Everything about it was pure and raw and beautiful, and while getting lost in it all made me smile, I thought to myself... I have 25 days left. When will I be standing here again? Will I ever be? The most frustrating part of life is not knowing.

A few days ago I laid under a beautiful blossoming tree in Seaton Park on my way back home from class. It was about 2:00 in the afternoon, the sun was the perfect I'll-warm-your-back temp. There were little bugs crawling on my arm (cute ones, I assure you) and purple flowers all over the grass. I could finally taste the thought of days at the beach, ice cream cones, running around in the Pine Grove, chasing squirrels, climbing trees, and hugs. Yes, hugs! The reality of home and the anticipation of a wonderful summer seemed to slap me in the face. In 25 days I'll be sitting under a tree 3,613 miles away from where I am now. Will I be wanting to come back? Will I be scared as four-year plans and research work clunk around at the front of my mind? What will I feel and how will I look back on my time here? How has it changed me? After Scotland, what's next? The most magical part about life is not knowing.

A few things I DO know:
- Ash clouds that keep me from seeing my good friends in Ireland are absurd and obnoxious.

- Studying for my Philosophy of Knowledge exam is less than satisfying.
- 60 minute history lessons with Jeffery Hawkins on Skype are more than amusing.

- University of Aberdeen has a pine grove. And people are finally in it. Juggling!
- If Mary fails her exam, it is my fault because I ask way too many questions.
- If I fail my exam, it is my fault because I ask Mary way too many questions.
-Mary and I are going to an Ingrid Michaelson concert in Glasgow. Holy YES.
- I love it here.
-"Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind, possessing and caressing me.
-The hugs. I can't wait for the hugs.
- "Jai guru deva om." I give thanks to God...Om.

Love to you.

1 comment:

  1. My favourite post thus far.
    You are so happy it amazes me :)