Thursday, June 3, 2010

it is time

It was nothing like I thought it would be.
It was everything I never knew it could be.
It was difficult, scary, terrifying.
It was beautiful, full of joy.
It was awkward and complex.
It was freeing and simple.
It was full of laughter. So much laughter
It was full of tears. So many tears.
It was essays, exams, lectures, tutorials.
It was castles, exploring, adventuring.
It was unimaginable, but it was real.

The key word: was. My time in Scotland has come to an end. And I'm beyond numb. Apparently, tomorrow morning I'm saying goodbye and not only am I numb to the fact that I'm leaving, but I'm also numb to the fact that I'm not going to be on this soil for a long time. And even if someday I'm blessed enough to return, the soil will not be the same. It won't ever be the same as it is right this second. This day. But years from now, if I ever do come back, I'll be filled with only the deepest joys, the most beautiful memories. This experience has been the blessing of a lifetime for me. I needed it to grow and see life outside of the box I've lived in for twenty years. And to know that somehow, on a whim, I ended up studying abroad for a semester will always be a reminder that my plans never work out. My plans never included a semester in Scotland, but a greater plan did. And so there it is. My plans never work out. They never turn out how I assumed they would, how I wrote them on paper. They only turn out much, much better. And to be twenty years old and still be able to say that everything has only been better than I've ever dreamed brings tears to my eyes. So as I say goodbye I feel many things, but above all, I am grateful. So, so, so grateful.

Tomorrow morning, I will look out the window of a plane and see Aberdeen get smaller and smaller. Tomorrow night, I will look out the window of another plane and see Traverse City, MI like I've never seen it before. And I've never been so sure of where I'm supposed to go next...

Goodbye Aberdeen. It is time.
Hello home. It's been too long.

(I've taken a picture a day in Scotland of the most beautiful things I have seen. If you have time, take a look.

Also, something I've made as a reminder of my last week:

Blog: El Fin. Cheers.

1 comment: